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[Lessons From The TV People] Those Rob Lowe DirectTV Ads

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What a crappy week and a half!

I like to draw a reader in right away with a snappy turn of phrase. How crappy, you ask? I won’t bore you with details but I can say it was enough to keep me from watching some choice sounding shows off the U-Verse. There is no excuse for not getting to watch Duff Til Dawn on the Food Network. I didn’t even need to see the description because the title had me. I loved the movie From Dust Til Dawn so I’m hoping it is a spin-off where the Ace Of Cakes Duff Goldman bakes a cake for Santanico Pandemonium.

I don’t think I’ll watch it out of fear that I might be wrong.

I also DVR’d a Donut Showdown and a show called I (Almost) Got Away With It. Which I guess I don’t need to see because [Spoiler!] they don’t get away with it. Where’s the fun?

Not to suggest that I never turned on the TV at all. I did from time to time. Enough to catch a new Whackadoo Rob Lowe DirectTV ad. This was the Overly Paranoid Rob Lowe. I myself am Overly Paranoid that I have to see the Overly Hairy Rob Lowe again. They are all really disturbing, aren’t they? Now, I don’t blame Mr. Lowe. In fact, you have to admire how game he is. It’s the ad company that is to blame. Imagine the ideas that bounced around in that room. “We need a new Bizarro Rob Lowe. OK. Shoot!” “Wait! Let me turn on the gas stove!”  “I’ll get the bath salts!” And the Rob Lowes went flying.

I want to get in on this. Below I humbly submit my Alternate Rob Lowe ideas. All from a single glass of red wine.

Other Rob Lowes:

Computer Generated Rob Lowe

Argyle Sock Clad Rob Lowe

100% Wool Rob Lowe

Avon Distributor Rob Lowe

One Inch Shorter Rob Lowe

Aflac Duck Voice Rob Lowe

Sleep Apnea Inflicted Rob Lowe

Slightly Anemic Rob Lowe

“It’s Spelled Loew” Rob Lowe

Marvel’s Rob Lowe

Former Resident of Yugoslavia Rob Lowe

Brother Of Chad Rob Lowe

Soda Pop Curtis

Silk Screened Rob Lowe

Gluten Intolerant Rob Lowe

Off Track Betting Denizen Rob Lowe

City Councilman Rob Lowe

Shakespearean Rob Lowe

Four Legged Rob Lowe

Graveyard Shift 7-11 Cashier Rob Lowe

Grammar Nazi Rob Lowe

#RobLowe

Capricorn With Taurus Rising Rob Lowe

Cirque du Soleil Clown Rob Lowe

Stormtrooper Cosplayer Rob Lowe

Green Thumb Rob Lowe

Green Screen Rob Lowe

The Fifth Beatle Rob Lowe

Leper Pirate In The Fog Rob Lowe

Knick Knack Collector Rob Lowe

Alligator Wrestler Rob Lowe

Mouth Breather Rob Lowe

Overdue Library Book Holder Rob Lowe

Constantly Getting Your Name Wrong Rob Lowe

Not On Facebook Rob Lowe

Behind You In the Mirror Rob Lowe

IKEA Rob Lowe

Final Jeopardy Rob Lowe

Ship-In-A-Bottle Rob Lowe

Never Packs A Lunch Rob Lowe

Brian Dennehy Fan Rob Lowe

Tide Pen User Rob Lowe

1988 Democratic Convention In Atlanta Rob Lowe

Only Burns Soy Candles Rob Lowe

Sonogram Cameo Rob Lowe

Jewel Thief Rob Lowe

YA Novelist Rob Lowe

Snorts When He Laughs Rob Lowe

Part Three Of A Ten Part Series Rob Lowe

Gift Card Hoarder Rob Lowe

Pencil Thin Mustache Rob Lowe

Julie Taymor Directed Rob Lowe

Weed Eater Wielder Rob Lowe

iPhone Denier Rob Lowe

Tea Leaf Reading Rob Lowe

“And I Don’t Even Own A TV” Rob Lowe

Waiting on your call, DirectTV.

Sincerely,

Beats A Dead Horse Rob Lowe