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[Lessons From The TV People] Garten Vs. Gladiator

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Tonight I watched an episode of The Barefoot Contessa with a soft-focused Ina Garten. It was only a half hour so as soon as the staged dinner party faded to the tune of clinking glasses and “Cheers!”, I turned over to the movie Gladiator already in progress. On the surface, this may seem like an odd juxtaposition but on closer inspection they are quite complimentary. So let’s test your knowledge with some facts on these two presentations.

Tell me: is it GARTEN or GLADIATOR?

-One is a Spaniard.

-The other has a show on the Food Network.

LFTTVP-GvsGIna1LFTTVP-GvsGGeneral

-One was a general under Marcus Aurelius.

-The other knows a screenwriter from Los Angeles and invites him to dinner.

 

-One battles to the death in the Coliseum.

-The other beats egg whites to stiff peaks.

 

-One was sold into slavery to fight as a Gladiator.

-The other adds extra sugar to apples that are too tart.

 LFTTVP-GvsGDeathLFTTVP-GvsGIna2

-One was the former lover of the Emperor’s sister.

-The other is a former White House nuclear policy analyst. (I’m not kidding. See Wikipedia.)

 

-One dreams of a field of flowers in the afterlife.

-The other depletes the local flower shop of white blooms.

 

-Both make awkward small talk.

 

-One was told, “Win the crowd and you’ll win your freedom.”

-The other told us, “This is the time a whisk really helps.”

 LFTTVP-GvsGIna3LFTTVP-GvsGEmperor

-One turns back on the Emperor.

-The other pops collars on button down shirts.

 

-One defeats the Romans in a reenactment of the Battle of Carthage.

-The other prepares two Bleu Cheese Soufflés. (The key is to work together in order to disable the chariots…or it might be something about folding in the egg whites gently.)

 

-One dies of mortal sword wounds.

-The other hates making drinks one at a time.

 

-One shocked the Emperor by revealing he was alive.

-The other shocked me by using store-bought puff pastry.

LFTTVP-GvsGEntertainedLFTTVP-GvsGIna4

-One asks the crowd, “Are you not entertained?”

-The other probably screams this in her head on every episode.

So how did you do?

Gladiator won the Academy Award for Best Picture of 2000 and airs frequently on basic cable. You can find Ina Garten winning the crowd on the Food Network.