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[Kicking Back with Jersey Joe] Real Stories from the Police Blotter

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Jersey Joe checks out some real, but funny stories of bad criminals, funny robbers, and police headaches from police blotters around the country.

THE 411

Name: police blotter

What: published in local papers and local news to highlight criminal acts

Location: nationwide

JERSEY JOE RECOMMENDS:

While these are all funny stories – I hope that your name doesn’t end up on your local police blotter!  But, if you find any good ones – pass them along to me on Twitter @JerseyJoe50!

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[Kicking Back with Jersey Joe] Caption This 10

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Get ready to laugh!  Jersey Joe crowns the winners with the funniest captions to these outrageous pics in the latest round of Caption This.  Plus, see who’s on top of the leaderboard with the most funniest captions in the first ten rounds!

THE 411

Name: Caption This

What: online Twitter and Facebook game on @JerseyJoe50’s feed

Location: https://twitter.com/jerseyjoe50

JERSEY JOE RECOMMENDS:

Keep and eye on my Twitter feed for another edition.  Also, join me for MATCH JERSEY JOE GAME – every Wednesday afternoon.  Let’s have some fun on social media!

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[Kicking Back with Jersey Joe] No Flirting Law

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Jersey Joe uncovers the US state where it’s illegal to flirt in public.  Violators are subject to fine.

THE 411

What: No Flirting Law

Type: blue law

State: New York

JERSEY JOE RECOMMENDS:

If you know someone who get’s a ticket for this — please let me know.  I’ll even cover their $25 fine!

flirting illegal icon

[Kicking Back with Jersey Joe] Funny, But Real NYC Police Blotter Stories

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Jersey Joe checks out some funny, strange, but true stories from the New York City Police Department police blotter!  Is your name on it?

THE 411

What: police blotter

Why: daily record of crime and arrests released by local police departments

Where: newspaper, online, local media

The blogs location: New York City

JERSEY JOE RECOMMENDS:

I don’t want to see my name on the police blotter!

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[Kicking Back with Jersey Joe] Who’s to Blame for Stop Signs?

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Who invented the stop sign?  Which city was the first to install one?  Jersey Joe has all you ever wanted to know and more about these octagon wonders that you find on roads and streets, all over the world.

Stop signs have been controlling traffic since 1915.  While automobile traffic was lighter back then, many city streets were jammed with trains, horses, carriages, and pedestrians.  All fighting for the right of way.  It was clear that something had to be done and thanks to Detroit, the stop sign was born,

 

THE 411

Name: stop sign

What: traffic control device

Located: at street corners and intersections internationally

First erected: Detroit, 1915

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A stop sign posted in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

 

JERSEY JOE RECOMMENDS:

Doing this blog over the years, I can honestly say I’ve learned a thing or two and here’s another example.  I had no idea that stop signs were eight sided to indicate the level of danger on a highway.  I guess we’ve come to take these things for granted and I couldn’t image our streets today without one.

Now, if we can only create an invention for those people who love to run right through these!

[Kicking Back with Jersey Joe] Where Dancing is Illegal

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Jersey Joe chats about the US town, where there’s a law on the books, making dancing a crime!

THE 411

What: Illegal dancing law

Where: Purdy, Missouri

Enforcement: little known – little enforced

JERSEY JOE RECOMMENDS

There are tons of old fashioned, hidden laws on the books like this all across the country.  Who knows what the town founders where thinking, when they came up with this!

As I find more wacky laws — I’ll be sure to blog about them.  If you know of any crazy laws that are on the books where you live or if you know of someone who got busted for a really wacky reason, drop me a line of twitter @JerseyJoe50.

She could be in trouble with the law, if she was dancing in one Missouri town.

She could be in trouble with the law, if she was dancing in one Missouri town.

[Parrot News]- Sorry, Your Parrot Doesn’t Count as a Licensed Driver

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Like most gods, the Gods of Parrot News are sometimes benevolent and sometimes cruel. Fortunately, this past week, they have chosen to be kind and to rain fantastic parrot stories upon me- which sort of makes up for the fact that the California Rain Gods have completely abandoned us. I mean, sure, the lack of rain in California threatens the water supply of the 38 million people who live here and could potentially undermine the 12th largest economy in the world, while the bonanza of parrot news stories really Parrot News- 020414- maxjust benefits me and the seven people who read this fucking blog- five of which are X-Games fans who thought this was a fan site for snowboarder Max Parrot. Have you seen the X-Games by the way? It’s crazy! It’s like ESPN made a whole pseudo-Olympics out of stuff my mother never let me do. All they need to do is add “going outside with no coat”, “walking home under a bridge in the dark” and “smoking weed in the basement” and it would be perfect.  Anyhow, my point is that everything all balances out and there were some great parrot stories. Here’s one that particularly spoke to me:

A woman in Yorkshire was pulled over on the M62 (freaky British freeway). The Bobbies (freaky British police) discovered that she had only a “provisional license” (freaky British Learner’s Permit) and that there was no licensed driver in the car with her, as is required by law, only her pet parrot who did not even have a Driver’s License.  The Bobbies then proceeded to Tweet out a picture of the parrot with a  warning that parrots are “NOT AUTHORIZED TO SUPERVISE LEARNER DRIVERS” and this sort of behavior would not be tolerated. I’m sure that ALL of the Provisional License holding parrot owners who follow the West Yorkshire police on Twitter are quaking in their trainers (freaky British sneakers. Sketchers, probably. With, like heels and shit. Seriously, what is wrong with those people?) I know I’m certainly grateful for them for Tweeting this, cause when I first saw this article, I thought “Of course! It’s perfect! Why haven’t I thought of this before?? I don’t need a Driver’s License – I just need a parrot who can ride around with me at all times. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this idea whatsoever!” So thank God the West Yorkshire Police set me straight or my parrot and I would have been in hot water and nobody likes parrot soup. Not even the British.

 

Now I know all of you “Driver’s License” having people are probably getting a good laugh at this poor woman’s expense. Don’t deny it! I can see you there- sitting back smugly in a smoking jacket, glass of Congac in one hand, steering wheel in the other, just tittering away at the stupidity:

“Titter-titter-titter- Why what kind of idiot would posssssibly think it was acceptable to drive with a parrot and a Learner’s Permit? Titter-titter-titter- Oh- wait- I’ll tell you what kind of idiot- the kind who doesn’t have a Driver’s License. Titter-titter-titter. Titter-titter-titter.  Titter-titter-titter WHOA!!! Sorry!! That was close. I almost spilled my Cognac. Titter-titter-titter.”

Me, though, I’m a lot more sympathetic to this woman. As the holder of numerous Loser’s Permits over the years (the permit is good for one year only. If you don’t get your license during that time and want to renew, you simply need to take a written test consisting of 20 multiple choice questions and a 500 word essay on the subject of “No, seriously dude, what is you FUCKING PROBLEM??”) I understand what she was going through that night. Just picture it- you’re home alone with your parrot. You’ve had the same conversation over and over and over again and now you’re seriously getting on each others’ nerves (you can substitute “parent” for “parrot” if that helps). There’s a party up in Ripon or Trent or one of the other towns that Branson’s always going off to so he can meet the new Pig Man and catch Rose kissing a black guy and it’s right up the M62 from your house and you could be there in like 10 minutes but there’s no one around to give you a ride. And you’ve got a perfectly good car at your disposal which you can TOTALLY almost sort-of drive but there’s not a licensed driver around who can ride with you so what are you supposed to do??? Go through the whole “who’s a pretty girl routine?” for the 10,000th time with Polly – or grab the keys, shove Polly’s cage in the front seat and ride up the M62 for freedom! And by “freedom” of course, we mean room temperature beer and blood pudding. England sucks.

So, I think you’ll agree with me that her actions were totally justifiable. The only thing I would just question- and I’m just clarifying here- not correcting- is why did she bring a parrot? Did she think that if the police pulled her over they would just be like “well, on the one hand, she’s an unlicensed driver putting other drivers at risk on the motorway by driving illegally on the motorway with a parrot instead of a licensed driver as required by law. On the other hand I LOVE PARROTS! Who’s a pretty girl? Who’s a pretty girl? Let’s just let her go”.

Or –maybe she’s just one of those crazy people who bring a parrot with them everywhere they go. Which I’m starting to learn from Parrot News happens a whole lot more often than you might think. The worst part is, she’s still going to get her fucking Driver’s License before me. CRAP! I’ve got to get that parrot.

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Read the article: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/28/pet-parrot-passenger-m62-learner-driver

[Kicking Back with Jersey Joe] Caught on Tape: Fight over Fried Chicken

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Sometimes you just end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Last weekend, my friends and I had one of those moments when simply trying to get some late night fried chicken.

 

(WARNING: strong language in video)

 

 

After living in Northern New Jersey / New York City area for all these years, one thing that I’ve come to learn is that each town, city, and suburb has their own iconic fried chicken joint.  Many of these places are open until the wee hours of the morning and Hollywood Fried Chicken on Newark Avenue in downtown Jersey City is no different.

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Hollywood Fried Chicken on Newark Avenue, Jersey City, NJ

 

The fried chicken is super cheap, super tasty, and probably not the best for you.  The breading is not too spicy, but is crisp while the chicken inside remains moist.  Their menu consists of fried chicken and all the sides, plus burgers and gyros.  There are three locations in New Jersey and this restaurant has been a neighborhood staple for decades.  Just say the name – and most locals know all about it!

 

And by cheap, I mean you can purchase a 15 piece chicken box with 2 sides and biscuits that will feed the entire family for $13!  While there are dozens of door buster meal deals, an individual chicken wing starts at the rock bottom price of 75 cents!

 

The restaurant opens at 10am and doesn’t close until 4am.  Those late night hours often make the place a last stop for those who’ve had a little too much to drink bar hopping all night.

 

We’re not sure what started the brawl.  As we turned the corner from Jersey Avenue, you could hear lots of commotion and arguing going on inside the restaurant.  Next thing you know it, one group is pushing the other and within a minute, people spill out the front door onto the street.

 

No one was seriously hurt and we left right after I stopped recording.  We had a conversation with two other customers who were inside when everything happened.  As one of them told us:

 

“It was stupid.  One girl bumped into the other and things got out of hand.”

 

The Jersey City police heading toward the scene.

The Jersey City police heading toward the scene.

Within about 10 minutes after everything broke up and being called, the Jersey City police finally arrived on the scene.

 

The sad thing is in this day and age with all the lawsuits and cameras, a simple misunderstanding like this can really blow up into big trouble.  While some of it was fueled by alcohol (and you could clearly see at least one girl, barely able to walk) too many people are looking to sue.  Just watch daytime TV with all the injury lawyer commercials!

 

Hollywood Fried Chicken has a 3½ star rating on Yelp with reviews mixed from really good to really bad.  Many of the reviews note the rowdy customers and late night drunks, but thank Hollywood for saving them from a massive hangover.

 

But, like it or hate it, the restaurant has a profitable business model.  The place is always busy no matter what time of day and they turn out lots of chicken during business hours.  They may want to add some more late night security, however.

 

Does your neighborhood have a late night chicken place like this?

 

THE 411

 

What: Hollywood Fried Chicken

 

Where: Jersey City, New Jersey

 

Date of incident: after midnight, January 20, 2014

 

JERSEY JOE RECOMMENDS:

banana pudding

The Hollywood Fried Chicken banana pudding.

 

The neighborhood along the Jersey City waterfront across the river from New York City continues to gentrify.  What were once railroads and warehouses are now expensive rentals and high rise condos.  Hollywood Fried Chicken has certainly seen the changes in the neighborhood over the decades.

 

The food is really good; sadly the crowd sometimes is not.  I eat there on a regular basis; I just scope it out, first.  If it looks packed and rowdy inside – I pass.

 

But, you’ve got to try their banana pudding!  It’s absolutely succulent and quite the little hidden bonus item on their menu!

 

Image credit – Paul Lowry

[Scandanavian Crime] Iceland Police Shoot and Kill for First Time

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It has been all over the news lately that on Monday, December 2, the Iceland police shot and killed a suspect who wouldn’t stop shooting at them. So why is this all over the news? 2 reasons:

1. It’s the first time in the country’s 70 year history that the police has shot and killed someone.

2. The police apologized for shooting the suspect, and the officers involved will be going to grief counseling.

Iceland ranks 15th among countries of gun ownership per capita yet there is almost no gun violence to speak of. Maybe that is why they can still mourn a situation that unfortunately seems all to familiar to us here in the States.

Story here.