Loading...What follows is a Sha-La-La-Laaa Stream Of Consciousness piece about a great sitcom from the ‘80s:
Remember Family Ties? The show about two hippies and their three kids, one of whom was a Republican? Of course you do. It came on after Facts Of Life!
Remember the Republican son, Alex P. Keaton? One time he lost his parents money in the stock market. He also took diet pills from his sister’s friend Effie in order to study for his finals. Remember when he overslept and freaked out? A very special episode.
Remember another very special episode where a friend of the family makes a move on daughter Mallory during the Pledge Drive at the dad’s public television station? That was an early episode where the dad Steven hadn’t grown his beard yet. Remember remembering he once didn’t have a beard?
Or yet another very special episode where Uncle Ned comes to visit and he has a drinking problem? Uncle Ned was played by Tom Hanks and he was so desperate for alcohol that he drank some vanilla extract. (Remember remembering this every time you use vanilla extract?) Then 
Alex tried to stop him because Ned is his hero and Ned hit Alex. And Ned breaks down and cries, “I hit Alex!” (Side note: I used to love Tom Hanks as Uncle Ned and as Kip on Bosom Buddies. Hey, remember a few months ago when Adam Scott and Paul Rudd remade the Bosom Buddies opening credits? And it made you think anything was possible? Remember finding out that Adam Scott was a fan of Survivor and you wanted to talk strategy with him? Oh! Remember when Paul Rudd was on Billy On the Street a few days ago and the host asked strangers in New York if they would have sex with Rudd for a dollar and an older lady said she would do it for free and you realized that’s the person you want to be? Remember when you are down and nothing is going right and you remember that Adam Scott and Paul Rudd are friends in real life and you can imagine everyone laying down their guns and there being peace amongst nations? I’m sure you do.)
Remember Skippy?
Remember when Mallory had that boyfriend Nick who was very Stallone-esque and later did a low budget horror movie called Demon Friend? But then you looked it up and realized it was actually called My Demon Lover and you were proud that you didn’t remember it correctly?
Remember when Alex had two dates to prom and had to change his cummerbund and go back and forth between them? The two dates were Daphne Zuniga and Jami Gertz. This is what My Demon Lover made room for.
Remember when Alex needed another person for his Quiz Bowl team and got Mallory to do it? And how he quoted My Fair Lady when she knew what SCUBA stood for? She ended up doing very well despite saying things like Strait of Massachusetts in lieu of Magellan because the other team thought she was cute. Alex, on the other hand, got horrific stage fright and passed out. 
Remember how that reminded you of The Brady Bunch episode where almost the same thing happens to Cindy when she was on TV? And how it briefly makes you think about Brady Bunch episodes so you have to work your way back to the original subject?
Remember how Family Ties did a Christmas Carol takeoff with Alex as Scrooge and he ends up buying his presents at a convenience store? (Side note: Michael J. Fox who played Alex likes the band Yaz. At least he did in the ‘80s when that factoid appeared in Bop Magazine.)
Remember when other daughter Jennifer was in a band with Christina Applegate and Rainbow Phoenix? And she once dated Wil Wheaton? Not really but as characters?
Remember when the “hippies with three kids” became “hippies with four kids”? That’s all that will be said about that.
Remember when Alex interviewed at Princeton and he said, “Go Tigers. Beat Yale. I mean that.”? And you think of that whenever Princeton is mentioned? That interview did not go well. He ends up going to Langley College where he meets Ellen, a dancer. Their romance sparked a top 40 hit by Billy and The Beaters. Remember how you still hate that song? Thank goodness Fox’s and Tracey Pollen’s real life relationship survived that crap.
Your memory must be jogged by now. But one last thing:
Sit, Ubu. Sit. Good dog. Woof!
I know you remember that!
