Did it come yet?
Not yet.
It’s almost June.
Groundbreaking in June.
Will the ground break here?
We’re waiting to hear.
Is that a messenger running to tell us?
No, that’s a candidate running for NM governor.
Will he tell us?
He’ll tell us something.
What will he tell us?
Whatever we want to hear.
Then, we’ll just wait a little longer.
Until Tesla texts?
Until then.
We ‘ll wait.

This Godot-esque improv was brought to you by wishful thinking. Every morning I rush to open The Albuquerque Journal hoping to find page one proclaiming:

“Tesla Talks! NM Chosen To  Charge-Up New Battery Factory.”

But, so far, not even a hint of the hoped-for headline.
Meanwhile, while waiting for Tesla, ABQ (aka Duke City) is about to say a big “Hola!” to Bubba- Bubba’s 33, to be exact.  Bubba’s 33 is a “budding restaurant chain.” (If by ‘budding’ you mean one restaurant with a second in process.). This nascent “chain” (pardon the blatant “Shark Tank” inspired entrepreneurial hyperbole ) chose ABQ because “Albuquerque supports restaurants very well.” Hmmmm I guess that’s a compliment.  And what culinary delights will Bubba’s 33 add to ABQ’s cuisine scene?  Let’s see.  “Bubba’s 33…sports fans…more TVs than tables…blah blah…pizzas, hamburgers, and beer…blah blah.”  And we should all rush out to “support” yet another pizza/burger/ sports bar because…?  Oh, oh, here it is, the Bubba’s 33 offering that will make ABQ foodies flock to feast – the Bubba’s 33 “signature hamburger that features 33 percent ground bacon.” Way to go, Bubba’s!  The 4 fave food groups in one heart-stopping dish- salty, fatty, crispy, and greasy.  Bubba, my friend, you’ll sell hundreds, thousands maybe!
ABQ is a town where a sign outside Lotta Burger, a local “chain” urges us to “Keep Calm and Eat a Bacon Burrito,” while way at the upper end of the dining spectrum, a gastropub (whatever the heck that is) called The Stumbling Steer, receives “Albuquerque, The Magazine’s ” 2014 “Hot Plate” award for its fried pork bits dusted with dried apple sugar and dipped into a whipped Greek yogurt sauce by which the magazine gushes, “Bacon has been elevated to an art form…”

A Pig-asso, perhaps?

Continuing our stroll through the pork, we encounter a science selection from The Washington Post emailed by a friend  whom I’ve designated a roving reporter for DD because he’s a master of ( Alliteration  Alert!) Ferreting out and Forwarding Fascinating Flora and Fauna Factoids.
This particular article described how the US deals with invasive animal species.
The term, “invasive species” doesn’t refer to your boorish cousins from Oshkosh who got drunk at your Memorial Day BBQ and barfed in your neat-freak neighbor’s pool!
No, invasive species are the weeds of the animal kingdom. With few natural enemies, they tend to crowd out or devour more desirable native species. According to the article’s author, Ramit Plushnick-Masti (That’s his? her? real name!), one way to reduce a burgeoning population of invasive animal species is to get the over abundant interlopers out of the bush and onto the buffet table.  Case in point- feral hogs who are apparently a threat to agriculture in Texas. (And since NM borders on Texas, we definitely don’t want those wild piggies wandering over here and sticking their snouts into our green chile patches.) The article points out that these lusty hogs reproduce so rapidly that catching and cooking them hardly diminishes their numbers.  To which I say,”Hogwash! You’re just not trying!”  Stop thinking ham hocks and pork chops and declare open season on “wild-caught bacon!”  What better treat to put in your “as seen on TV” microwave bacon racks  and bacon bowl molds?
Save the elk! Conserve the cougar!  Point trigger happy hunters toward the frantically fornicating feral hogs and let them bring home the wild – caught bacon. BLTs will never be the same!

I’d nearly completed this post, when I discovered  a serendipitous find in the clearance bin at Staples- a 2014 “I (heart) Bacon” wall calendar.  I took it wee wee wee wee wee allllll the way home, so we could pig out on bacon trivia and recipes until the sows come home.
Here are a few choice morsels to savor while the Bacon-Chicken Crescent Ring bakes ( and, yes, it’s made with refrigerated crescent rolls and canned chicken ).
“Bacon is addictive. It contains 6 types of umami. Umami produces an addictive neurochemical response.”
U mean u mommy served u bacon and eggs, but wouldn’t let u smoke pot!
And
“A pig’s tail can be kinky, straight, or curly.”
Just like the Three Stooges.
And
“Almost half of the fat in bacon is the ‘good fat’ that can actually help lower bad cholesterol.”
Yeah , believe that one when pigs fly!

Well, blog buddies, that’s the way the bacon crumbles.
In the immortal words of cartoon icon, Porky Pig, ” Badeep, Badeep, Badeep, That’s all folks!”

Written by: Ronni Sims on May 28, 2014.