Loading...What a crappy week and a half!
I like to draw a reader in right away with a snappy turn of phrase. How crappy, you ask? I won’t bore you with details but I can say it was enough to keep me from watching some choice sounding shows off the U-Verse. There is no excuse for not getting to watch Duff Til Dawn on the Food Network. I didn’t even need to see the description because the title had me. I loved the movie From Dust Til Dawn so I’m hoping it is a spin-off where the Ace Of Cakes Duff Goldman bakes a cake for Santanico Pandemonium.
I don’t think I’ll watch it out of fear that I might be wrong.
I also DVR’d a Donut Showdown and a show called I (Almost) Got Away With It. Which I guess I don’t need to see because [Spoiler!] they don’t get away with it. Where’s the fun?
Not to suggest that I never turned on the TV at all. I did from time to time. Enough to catch a new Whackadoo Rob Lowe DirectTV ad. This was the Overly Paranoid Rob Lowe. I myself am Overly Paranoid that I have to see the Overly Hairy Rob Lowe again. They are all really disturbing, aren’t they? Now, I don’t blame Mr. Lowe. In fact, you have to admire how game he is. It’s the ad company that is to blame. Imagine the ideas that bounced around in that room. “We need a new Bizarro Rob Lowe. OK. Shoot!” “Wait! Let me turn on the gas stove!” “I’ll get the bath salts!” And the Rob Lowes went flying.
I want to get in on this. Below I humbly submit my Alternate Rob Lowe ideas. All from a single glass of red wine.
Other Rob Lowes:
Computer Generated Rob Lowe
Argyle Sock Clad Rob Lowe
100% Wool Rob Lowe
Avon Distributor Rob Lowe
One Inch Shorter Rob Lowe
Aflac Duck Voice Rob Lowe
Sleep Apnea Inflicted Rob Lowe
Slightly Anemic Rob Lowe
“It’s Spelled Loew” Rob Lowe
Marvel’s Rob Lowe
Former Resident of Yugoslavia Rob Lowe
Brother Of Chad Rob Lowe
Soda Pop Curtis
Silk Screened Rob Lowe
Gluten Intolerant Rob Lowe
Off Track Betting Denizen Rob Lowe
City Councilman Rob Lowe
Shakespearean Rob Lowe
Four Legged Rob Lowe
Graveyard Shift 7-11 Cashier Rob Lowe
Grammar Nazi Rob Lowe
#RobLowe
Capricorn With Taurus Rising Rob Lowe
Cirque du Soleil Clown Rob Lowe
Stormtrooper Cosplayer Rob Lowe
Green Thumb Rob Lowe
Green Screen Rob Lowe
The Fifth Beatle Rob Lowe
Leper Pirate In The Fog Rob Lowe
Knick Knack Collector Rob Lowe
Alligator Wrestler Rob Lowe
Mouth Breather Rob Lowe
Overdue Library Book Holder Rob Lowe
Constantly Getting Your Name Wrong Rob Lowe
Not On Facebook Rob Lowe
Behind You In the Mirror Rob Lowe
IKEA Rob Lowe
Final Jeopardy Rob Lowe
Ship-In-A-Bottle Rob Lowe
Never Packs A Lunch Rob Lowe
Brian Dennehy Fan Rob Lowe
Tide Pen User Rob Lowe
1988 Democratic Convention In Atlanta Rob Lowe
Only Burns Soy Candles Rob Lowe
Sonogram Cameo Rob Lowe
Jewel Thief Rob Lowe
YA Novelist Rob Lowe
Snorts When He Laughs Rob Lowe
Part Three Of A Ten Part Series Rob Lowe
Gift Card Hoarder Rob Lowe
Pencil Thin Mustache Rob Lowe
Julie Taymor Directed Rob Lowe
Weed Eater Wielder Rob Lowe
iPhone Denier Rob Lowe
Tea Leaf Reading Rob Lowe
“And I Don’t Even Own A TV” Rob Lowe
Waiting on your call, DirectTV.
Sincerely,
Beats A Dead Horse Rob Lowe
