Loading...As some of you may know, we recently said goodbye to the furriest member of the Sims family not counting my disturbingly large 
collection of teddy bears that will never be spoken of again. Well, second furriest, I suppose, if I’m in one of my Hassidic Portland Hipster waging Jihad on his way to the Duck Dynasty convention modes. (NOTE FOR GEN-X’ERS: Unibomber is NO LONGER a relevant reference point. 9 out of 10 millenials don’t know who that is and the one who does thinks he’s one of the McDonaldland characters- like the Hamburgler with a manifesto. NOTE FOR GEN-X’ERS: Yeah- they don’t know who the McDonaldland characters are either. Nice try) It’s wonderful how groups of men from such different backgrounds and with such different ideologies can all rally together around the cause of justifying sheer laziness as some kind of deliberate fashion statement. It just proves that no matter where men come from or what they believe in- they would all rather behead journalists or play Sex Pistols covers on the banjo with their bucktoothed Wannabe Deschannel girlfriend or even (shudder) study Talmud (G-d forbid) than groom themselves or trim their goddamn toenails or, I don’t know, CLEAN A MOTHERFUCKING BATHROOM FOR A CHANGE. Personally, I avoid responsibility with blogging – Allahu Akbar, dude-bros!
Now, that’s exactly the sort of idiotic behavior that Lenny simply had no patience for. He was an irascible fellow- like Andy Rooney,
if Andy Rooney barked at delivery people and compulsively licked the spot where his balls used to be- so- exactly like Andy Rooney (#dementia #knowthesigns)- only not as wrinkly, and lots more loveable, and generally not absolutely terrible in every way (may he rest in peace.) The point is, like Andy Rooney, he had a talent for pointing out the foibles of humanity- and, since he never did get that segment on 60 Minutes (I don’t even think they watched the tapes), he shared his uniquely ornery perspective in his annual Religiously Neutral Holiday Letter.
Since his passing, many of you have reached out to share your condolences and let us know how much you’ll miss his holiday letters. And so, in tribute to a friend with whom I shared a third of my life, half my breakfast, three quarters of the available floor space in my house and all of my heart- I’ll be sharing all of his holiday letters- starting with the first one from 2005. I hope you’ll enjoy reading these as much as we enjoyed having Lenny look at us with disappointment, rest his head on the floor and wonder just what exactly our damn problem was. God, I miss him. Oh great. Now I’m sad. WHERE’S THAT TEDDY BEAR???
Ahhhh. That’s the stuff. Anyhow- here’s the 2005 Holiday Letter- enjoy!
I’ll be adding all the letters here, as they are published:
