I have a friend who is extremely knowledgeable about all things furry, feathery, finny, and slithery. He alerted me to the fact that April 25 was World Penguin Day.  Yippee! Here’s a holiday we can all add to our 2015 calendar.
World Penguin Day requires no Divine Intervention. No one gets killed, conquered, or oppressed. No one gets rescued or redeemed.  There are no lengthy rituals to perform or lavish meals to cook.  World Penguin Day is just an enjoy-the-day-however DIY celebration.  Of course you could dress in black, white, and yellow and eat foods like deviled eggs with caviar or those big deli cookies that are frosted in chocolate and vanilla; or have gala gatherings with tuxedos required; and send “Happy WPD” cards; and decorate your lawns and rooftops with inflatable penguins; and if you’re really good, the Great Emperor Penguin will bring you gifts and bless you and…Gaaaaaaaah!  NO!  Don’t get all  Holy/Hallmark/HGTV about it!  Just relax, improvise, and enjoy World Penguin Day without greed and guilt gumming it all up!

Why celebrate penguins? Well, why not?  Penguins don’t devour our crops or spread the plague or gnaw on our garbage or crawl in our cupboards.  We don’t need them for food or feathers. Penguins, in turn, don’t need us for preservation and protection. Left alone, they socialize, migrate, and reproduce in a barren, frozen environment where we can barely survive.
Plus, they’re sooooooo cute!  What’s not to celebrate?
And – a big plus for this year, World Penguin Day festivities didn’t involve a single lime!
Penguins? Limes?  Did we miss something here?
Nope.  Just follow along, folks….
Both The Albuquerque Journal and The Wall Street Journal ( no relation whatsoever except for the word “Journal” which must mean “stuff printed on paper that can also be used to line critter cages”) – both these newspapers featured articles bemoaning the current lime shortage caused by Mexican weather problems and the resulting sky high price of the little green fruit.
Now, limes aren’t a major food group on my nutrition pyramid or pie chart or plate section or whatever graphic the government is using these days to remind us to eat healthy foods.
Remember, “An apple (or lime) a day keeps the insurance companies from bankrupting Medicare by getting reimbursed for pricey tests and treatments for those who’ve  over-indulged for years in the pizza-pretzel-Pepsi-pork rind food group.”

Anyway, for bars and Mexican  restaurants, the “great lime crisis of 2014” is catastrophic. Margaritas and many Mexican foods have fresh lime juice as a key ingredient. In an effort to reduce fresh lime consumption, bars are even considering the use of pre-squeezed lime juice.  Apparently this is a horrific last resort akin to serving  vegan quinoa gefilte fish at the Passover Seder or “topiggy” soyham at Easter dinner.
Desperate bistros are slicing lime wedges  paper thin and making customers specifically request them with their meals ( and show a picture ID and sign a pledge to squeeze out every drop of juice  and eat the pulp) JK!  JK! (So far)
And to make matters considerably worse, Cinco de Mayo is fast approaching.
Unlike World Penguin Day, Cinco de Mayo (the Fifth  of May)  is a typical “We conquered – Let’s drink’n dine” holiday. This  Mexican festival, widely celebrated in the southwestern US, commemorates “the Mexican army’s victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.” Wouldn’t you know! Battle, victory, army. Whee! It’s a holiday!
So here we are, 152 years later, glasses raised, facing the unthinkable prospect of a lime-challenged Cinco de Mayo. Viva! Salud! This Bud’s for you. Just doesn’t work!

And lest we overlook a chance to plug ABQ’s vaunted multicultural qualities, may I point out that our favorite Vietnamese restaurant was also caught up in Lime-Gate. (What did those lime-growing Mexicans know and when did they know it?)
As the waitress handed me my take-out Mi hoach hu tieu chay (vegetable noodle soup), she apologized repeatedly that there were no “lems” included. There was Thai basil, cilantro, and hot sauce, but no “lems.”
“Lemons?” I asked.
“No, no! The green ones, lems.”
“Oh you mean limes.”
“Yes, yes. No lems today.”
“Ok, no problem, ” I replied blithely, not yet having read The ABQ Journal or The WSJ.
At the market, I discovered that limes which once sold for $.33 were now $.99! I bought a lemon instead.  Sometimes, we (sigh!) just have to make do.

So, save the lime! Raise your mudslides with whipped cream, your vanilla sundaes with dark chocolate sauce, your double stuffed Oreos.  Here’s to our frigid, flightless, friends. Happy WPD!
Mark your calendar apps. World Penguin Day is looking better all the time!