Ahhh, 2006. I have mixed feelings about this year. On the one hand, in 2006 Pluto was demoted from “planet” to “dwarf planet” which called into question why I ever bother learning anything EVER. I mean, what’s the damn point of knowing stuff if it’s just gonna keep changing all the time?? It’s like Eastern Europe- one day there’s the Soviet Union and everything makes sense- and then- boom- the Berlin Wall falls, the USSR splits and next thing you know there’s a Slovakia AND a Solvenia. Is this the world I grew up with? Is this the world I signed up for? IS THIS THE WORLD ROCKY IV FOUGHT FOR??? HELL NO. Fuck Slovakia, fuck Slovenia and fuck all this “dwarf planet” bullshit. Call me when Putin gets the band back together and the astrophysicists of the world get their heads out of Uranus and make Pluto official again. (NOTE FOR GEN-X’ers: Yeah, Milenials have no idea what you’re talking about. The USSR fell 23 years ago- a whole generation of useless idiot entitled piece of shit interns have been born and did nothing and were murdered by me since then- get over it. Also they all think “dwarf planet” is racist but that doesn’t really matter cause they think every goddman thing is racist. Seriously- just watch them lose their shit when you say “black hole”.)

So- yeah- the Pluto thing sucked- but, on the bright side- Zinedine Zidane headbutted that Italian dude in the chest after he talked shit about Zidane’s mother which, I think we can all agree was the greatest moment in the history of soccer, France, Italy, all human endeavor and mother jokes – just take a look at this:

Awesome, right?? Now THAT’S how you get a brain injury playing football.

Anyhow, 2006 was also a busy year for the Sims family. We visited family around the country, went wine tasting around California and celebrated our anniversary in Tijuana- and Lenny went nowhere! Which was fine with him because he doesn’t really like family. Or wine. Or Mexico. Or anything.

He did like writing the holiday letter, though- and here is the 2006 edition.

And it you missed it- here’s the 2005 Holiday Letter from yesterday. Enjoy!