Q: If you are in a Georgia forest littered with dead leaves and twigs and a zombie takes a step, does it make a sound?

A: Not until it is RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

According to The Walking Dead at least. They are stealthy buggers on that show. One of the many things I’ve gleaned from watching this series from the beginning. Ah yes, The Walking Dead, the show I love to hate or hate that I still watch…not sure which. Anyway, the season finale is this Sunday and throughout the four seasons, I’ve had some questions. For instance…

…why does everyone act like they’re in a foreign land and don’t know where anything is? There has to be some Georgia natives in the group. Don’t they know where they are when they are wandering around? There’s no one like my dad who knows all the routes and highways and towns within a fifty-mile radius of his home? Anyone who lives in the rural South knows ten different ways to get to town. One time I’d like to see someone say, “I know where we are. Head up that road two, three miles and there’s a Sonic.”

Darrell should consider a crossbow alternative. Not practical in the long run.

WHY DIDN’T YOU PICK UP THE BABY IN THE CAR SEAT? I realize it is for dramatic effect for Rick to discover the empty car seat and think his daughter is dead but really? It takes longer to take the baby out of the seat then to just pick it up and run. This will bug me for a while.

After all the bad luck they’ve had while trying to settle down, you would think they would have an emergency meeting point. Like, “If it all goes to hell like it always does, let’s meet at that Sonic.”

Why do all the zombies sound the same? They have the same pitched, Looney Tunes Tasmanian devil type snarling. So if Barry White were a zombie, he wouldn’t have a deep, sexy snarl? Lame.

Finally, Michonne, not once but twice, used zombies on leashes to walk with no fear through the herds of the undead. How come she has never mentioned this to anyone? “Hey, you know what helps me? Removing the lower jaw and cutting the arms off of zombies and then dragging them around with me. Their smell camouflages human scent. Thought I’d share that.”

Well, Michonne, at least I got that tidbit. I would definitely use that during the Zombie Apocalypse. And that is my biggest Walking Dead take away: mentally fashioning my undead-fighting look:

For the record, if I had a welding kit handy, I would seriously consider a Belt Of Spikes. You know for the stealthy, sneak-attack zombies that are so prevalent.