Not going to lie, I love the hell out of MasterChef Junior. Non-cloying kids making amazing dishes? Who would have thought? Plus they all seem to like each other. None of this petty trash talking like the adult competitors. I have yet to hear “I’m not here to make friends” from anyone. Because they obviously haven’t watched over a thousand hours of reality television like I have to learn this cliché. Sure, they’re competitive but not ugly about it. That will change and I’m sad for their jaded, future selves. But in the meantime, they have the normally harsh and snarky judges being supportive and sweet. No intimidating stares (I’m looking at you, Joe Bastianich) or over the top spoon inspecting (Yeah, Graham Elliot). Instead they always find something positive to say. That’s right, Gordon Ramsay is nurturing! I never found him attractive until he told a crying girl to fill her ramekin only half full to make sure her soufflé cooks all the way. Swoon. It’s the Hot Dad Effect. I once followed a guy and his kid around the Musée d’Orsay in Paris because he was discussing art with her. I was discreet, of course.
So in honor of tonight’s finale, let’s take a look at some of the nuggets of wisdom from this first season of MasterChef Junior.
- When life gives you chicken livers, make pâté: Alexander was given chicken livers to cook as a scheme to get him eliminated. Nice try, Troy. Alexander made a pâté on crostini, wowed the judges and made it to the Final Two. So the lesson is to step outside your comfort zone and take a risk. Or the lesson is to be a slightly unnervingly mature cooking prodigy who knows things like pâté and crostini.
- Wear Hawaiian shirts: 10-year-old Jack’s on-camera wardrobe consisted of Hawaiian shirts. And it totally fits his personality. He, on more than one occasion, dropped to his knees when he won a challenge. I fully expect him to be falling to his knees and praising the skies while wearing a Hawaiian shirt when he’s in his sixties. Find and rock your loud printed shirt equivalent.
- There are, in fact, kids named Gavin: it’s true.
- If your plastic bow falls in your face, keep cooking: Dara and her plastic bows, like Jack’s shirts, have set the fashion bar for Season Two. Will suspenders be next? Or wingtips? Just don’t let those jodhpurs distract you from cooking is what I’m saying.
- “These are so not gummy bears” and “Whip it. Whip it like a man!”: The main lesson here is that 8-year-old Sarah who said these things was awesome. I’m sad she was eliminated. The secondary lesson is unbridled enthusiasm. For food. For competition. For gummy bears. Like what you like. Don’t like what you don’t like. And of course, “Don’t. Stop. Whipping!”
Season One of MasterChef Junior was so damn charming that I would be over the moon if either Alexander or Dara won tonight. They each deserve it. In fact, I would hire either of them to be my personal chef if it weren’t for child labor laws. The truth is I will be sad when the regular MasterChef comes back and the judges yell again and the competitors are hateful. And not a one is wearing a big plastic bow.