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[Desert Droppings] Delicioso! Not entirely.

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I thought I had the makings of a perfect Desert Droppings post.
Da dum da dum da dum.  Da da da da dum da dum.Desert- 062514- hat
I’d start with a little “Mexican Hat Dance” beat to get us in the spirit, then move on to poke fun at my neighborhood Smith’s supermarket (part of the Cincinnati based Kroger Corp., the nation’s second largest supermarket enterprise.)
Imagine a bleak January day in Cincinnati as background for a meeting of the Kroger marketing division seeking to increase profits at the NM Smith’s chain.
The brainstorming begins.
“How about a foreign food festival?”
“Hmmm…foreign…like “world flavors.”
“Foods from Greece, France, Sweden, maybe?”
“No,” pipes up a new hire with a fresh MBA, recalling the sun-drenched vacation she took in Cancun. “Mexico!”
(Now, the poking fun part.)
And – without glancing at a map or pondering the wisdom of Mexico as a source of “worldly foods” for New Mexicans, especially in ABQ where folks of Mexican descent abound and there’s a Mexican restaurant on every corner; where Smith’s shelves are routinely stocked with dozens of “Hispanic” items and Mexican fruits and vegetables fill the produce aisles year ’round; Kroger’s marketing team went ahead and devised for Smith’s a three-week “Savor World Flavor-A Taste of Mexico” extravaganza.
How funny is this?! It’s New Mexico, guys! Mexican food is so every day here. If you want to tempt Smith’s shoppers with exotic flavors from far-off lands try Swedish meatballs or Manhattan Deli mmmmmm whitefish salad…
Ha! Ha! Mexico! You’re barking up the wrong burrito!
That’s how my post was supposed to go, until, driven by curiosity to experience up close Smith’s Flavor Fiesta Festivities, I grabbed my shopping list and joined the fun. And it was about as fun as supermarket shopping gets.
Outside the store, a Smith’s staffer sold grilled “Mexican Street Corn.”
Inside, signs, banners, flags, and balloons carried the “Taste of Mexico” logo into various departments.  Sampling stations offered Desert--062514--haulguacamole,fish tacos, and layered caramel cake.
Shoppers were invited to spin a wheel and win coupons for cupcakes, marinated fajita meat,  tortilla chips, and fresh pineapple. Special  displays  highlighted an array of products including Kroger Chili Hot Beans, Mexican soda, Cajeta Quemada (goat milk caramel spread),  Mole sauce, spicy cheese, Mexican cookies, and “Fiesta” cakes iced in Mexican-flag shades of red, yellow, green, and orange.
It all looked very bright and tempting. I started filling my cart with items that had never been on my list- Dulce de Leche cupcakes, a new brand of guacamole, a bottle of Kroger Picante sauce.
Then OLE! It dawned on me! Kroger really did know their Churros from their chipotle. This “Taste of Mexico” promotion at Smith’s was no comical concoction of a clueless Midwestern marketing group, it was a deliberately designed test market effort disguised as a world flavor fest. Kroger wanted to know if shoppers in ABQ and other NM cities would savor and buy the Harvarti Chipotle cheese from Wisconsin, the dulce de leche sweets from Canada?  Would they use Kroger frozen chicken breasts in their Tinga de Pollo and serve up some of the dozen types of salsa in their salsa bowls (made in China, of course)?
Bottom line – if these items prove to be bueno enough for ABQ, they’ll probably sell in Cleveland or Kentucky and wherever else Kroger’s group of supermarkets are found. No wonder Kroger’s quarterly sales rose more than expected.
Fresh baked Churros, anyone?

Still, I have to add that there is one dark corner of this light-hearted foray into food retailing.
While Smith’s “Taste of Mexico” thing has  been going on, the news media have been reporting disturbing accounts of the thousands of families and unaccompanied children “migrating” across the US-Mexican border, only to find harsh conditions awaiting them in ill- equipped, over-crowded US government detention facilities. Even now, VP Biden is  busily spreading the word in Central America that the US is not open to these “huddled masses.” Desert- 062514- deport
But, consider, for a moment, this jarring scenario (which is well within the realm of possibility):
A group of newly arrived and as yet unapprehended  migrant children wander into a Smith’s supermarket which is colorfully engaged in its “Taste of Mexico” merriment. The checkout cashiers are wearing sombreros and bright green t-shirts that say, “Delicioso!” Signs are in Spanish and festive cut paper flags flutter above displays of familiar foods.
What are the young migrants to think but that, “It’s true! The Americanos love us! They really love us! We’ve made it!”
No, ninos, you haven’t made it at all. While Americans welcome and promote products and produce (as long as there’s a profit to be made) from across the border, the tired, the poor, etc,from south of the Rio Grande are as unwelcome as flies on fajitas. Sad to say, you are the victims of the mother of all mixed messages.  Mole and melons, si.  Migrants, no.
Will the US ever find a humane solution to the distressing plight of the migrants and others who are undocumented? Not soon enough.
When it comes to creativity, collaboration, and competent planning, our government has a lot to learn from Kroger and Smith’s.

[Images from the Id] Ok, It’s Time to Organize or How Stupid Can a Smart Guy Be?

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Images from the Id – Ok, It’s Time to Organize or How Stupid Can a Smart Guy Be?

Sometimes I get myself into things. I know it’s my own fault but I just can’t help it. It’s sort of like a Greek Tragedy (should that be caps?), where the hero crashes because of a flaw in his character. Not to say I have a flaw or even character. You be the judge, I have given up. An insatiable, relentless and consuming curiosity drives my life. I have to know how everything works and one step farther, why, and worse- I have to tell everyone else about even if they really don’t care.

This week I have been doing something I never thought I would ever do. I never thought I would be a writer, or a public speaker, just ask my past teachers who gave me “Cs” out of kindness and in an attempt to get rid of me. These last two weeks I have done two 1-2 hour presentations, a 10 minute impromptu one and written three segments of an introduction to Photoshop workshop this Saturday. Preparing images for three monthly competitions add to the fun. It’s getting so my wait to the last minute disorganization will no longer fly. Educational/technical writing is much more difficult than imagined. Put together with being President of two camera clubs, actually one is a confederation of four clubs, sometimes I just sit like a zombie in the Lazy-boy chair and stare into the distance. I don’t feel it is stressful but someday it may all come crashing down

Organization and planning are the answers. I am sitting here on a computer that has over 110,000 images on two hard drives. I dare anyone to find whatever they want in that haystack. Luckily we have lots of help. Apple and Adobe have software to help. There may be others but these are the ones I am familiar with. Apple has two options. The easy to use iPhoto is great for the snapshot not to serious family shooter. It does some things really well such as Apple account including iPhone integration. Aperture 3 is a big step up and even works well for some professionals. Adobe has Lightroom 5 which in my opinion is a major step up. There is a bit of a learning curve with all of theme but it is well worth it. I have become a Lightroom guru. I make extra money tutoring it along with Photoshop. I have used the others and without question Lightroom is the best for a photographer wanting to have software they will not grow out of. Until the end of May, it is available for $9.99 a month as the “Adobe Photographer’s Bundle” This is an unbelievable deal. If you have ever wanted to get into the Adobe software do it now. There is a huge amount of help on line to get started. It’s the way to go.

Along with organizing Lightroom does much more. The Develop Module is great and much of your processing will not need anything else. GET IT NOW!

Next week  What’s a Lightroom??

Photo of the Week  – New Mexico Pronghorn 1/1500 sec; ISO 800; 400/600 mm; 0 EV Raw file Totally processed in Lightroom

Pronghorn

[Desert Droppings] Marmite and Green Chile (This is a title, NOT a recipe!)

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A member of our family is British- a charming chap, who, in addition to being a great cook, can fix, organize, or explain just about anything.  So,  when such a brilliant fellow leaves behind a wee jar  of his favorite condiment, doesn’t it behoove one to sample a spot of it? That’s how I behoove-ably came spoon tip to tongue tip with an intriguing substance called Marmite.

According to the fine print on its little brown jar, Marmite is made of “yeast extract, salt, carrot and onion extract, spice extracts” and a few vitamins. It has none of the ingredients so demonized by the colon-cleansing set like high fructose corn syrup and transfats. Sounds sort of healthy and tangy, right? What could be bad?
I’ve learned to savor hot chile salsa for breakfast and grew up loving my Bubbe’s stuffed kishke, charred onion and chicken fat spread, and boiled cow’s tongue – with a glob of chopped liver and a hunk of gefilte fish for special occasions. So downing a schmear of Marmite should be a piece of cake.  Only Marmite’s not cake. Not even close. Not even in the same galaxy as cake!
Marmite has a curiously pungent taste-at once sharp, bitter, medicinal, herbal, and whattheheck?!- A taste that raises  concerns that the dark, sticky, nearly solid gel in the jar has passed its “Best By” date by decades, maybe even centuries! The label bears the ominous warning, “Spread thinly.”  Distinctly unnerving. In a world where food companies constantly urge you to consume as much of their product as quickly as possible, one small jar of Marmite could easily last until the Patriots stop fumbling the play-offs and win another Super Bowl victory.
The. Marmite label has no merry cartoon figures, no super athletes, or rosy cheeked tots gobbling the stuff down.  There are no cozy recipes  that mingle a dollop of Marmite with canned  cream of mushroom soup, leftover meat bits, Velveeta cheese, and bread crumbs for a Marmite Country Kitchen Casserole.
There is, however, a serving suggestion and I quote,”…for a treat, try Marmite on a crispbread with cottage cheese. ” Does “treat” have some weird alternative meaning in British-speak like “bonnet” or “lift?”  Across the pond, could “treat” mean “hold your nose, grit your teeth, and down stuff like kale and quinoa and Marmite in order to achieve the Boomer dream of everlasting wellness and high testosterone levels”?

Having no crispbread in the cupboard, I spread Marmite (thinly) on rice cakes. A word about rice cakes…Rice cakes, as every Desert-020514-marmitericecaketwo-bit improv wannabee will tell you with a smirk, look and taste like Styrofoam.
Once, while eating plain rice cakes in a break room, I was approached by a co-worker trying to be snidely “helpful.”
“You know, ” she confided, “rice cakes come in chocolate, too.”
When I told her that I was allergic to chocolate, her “caring” facade dropped away like boxes of Wheaties from the gluten-free shelf and she declared emphatically, “I’d rather be dead!”
I left that break room with its blackened guacamole, week-old birthday cupcakes, soggy chips, and dubious dip, and never went back.
Rice cakes bring out everyone’s I’m-so-clever- cute-and-funny side.  Another family member, born in the USA, commented that,”Eating Marmite on rice cakes is the exact opposite of putting lipstick on a pig.”
Now I know  I could get all passionate and Google-up a whole gooey bowl full of Marmite factoids: “Marmite has played a key role in English history since the British Isles were a mere chip off the old tectonic plate.” (I made that one up, but if Wikipedia wants it, jolly good!”)

If you care to delve deeper into Marmite’s viscous depths, delve  away , while I swing over to a hot topic in ABQ- Denver’s pre-game Super Bowl chile gaffe that got the cold shoulder from NM. It seems that as part of the media-marketing  Super Bowl frenzy, Denver’s mayor made a bet with Seattle’s mayor that involved signature local foods like Seattle’s salmon and Denver’s green Green Chile“chili.”  Denver’s what?!  An irate article in  The ABQ Journal (“Seeing  Red Over Denver’s Green Chile Wager” by “Upfront” columnist Joline  Gutierrez Krueger accused Denver of chile “fraud ” and bad spelling. (BTW, it’s NM’s “chile” and not a CO’s ” chili.”)
So, Denver, get your Rocky Mountain (legal) high from some other state’s official vegetable.

You’ve already got Welker, so how about some Boston baked beans!

Marmite and green chile –  DON’T  try this at home!

[Desert Droppings] Cougars In The “Q”? Yule be amazed!

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Hey, this is easy.  My post is due on 12/24, so of course I’ll write about…let’s  see… candy canes, uncontrollable consumption,caring and sharing…C…nah…COUGARS- That’s it!

Eagerly anticipating botoxed, buxom belles groping the pool boy under the mistletoe, are you?
Someone’s on the naughty list!  I’m talking wildlife, claws, stalking unsuspecting prey.  No, not Hapless Housewives of Hoboken.  This is a family friendly blog here.  Your family does what?…uh huh….could be fun…maybe next post.

So about cougars- I celebrated my winter Holiday back around Thanksgiving, which leaves  me free from jolly, jingly, egg-nogged Dessert- 122413- Openrevelry. Instead of oohing and aahing over what Santa splurged on, (and hopefully not at Target or, Happy Holidays- you just bought iPads for every village in Nigeria!), I can take a brisk hike on one of ABQ’s mountain trails. Just 5 minutes from my house is a so-called ABQ Open Space, because it’s , well, open and..uh…spacious and no developer has yet bribed the Town Council to re-zone the area for adobe  and glass mini-mansions with “breath-taking mountain backdrops, spectacular city views, and cougars.”
Yes, cougars.
At the entrance to the Open Space Trail, there’s a sign warning hikers about cougars.  It’s an old sign, faded and warped.  Easy to think that the cougars are long gone in search of pristine wilderness untouched by klutzy hikers with their poopy pets, clutched cell phones, and monogrammed L.L.Bean water bottles.  Except- while browsing Dessert- 122413- Tagaround a recent ABQ charity event where intensely helpful organizations solicited donations to carry on their good works for man and beast, I was handed a bright orange plastic tag that read “Cougar Smart New Mexico- Keep Kids & Cougars Safe!”  In a city where the cougars are statistically smarter than most of the kids, this was ABQuirky through and through.  So, here I am, alone on a possibly cougar-infested trail, while everyone else is knee deep in tidings of comfort and joy,  with only a tag and an old sign between me and cougars out for a Yuletide feast.
“It is very rare to see a cougar…” the tag coos. “But, here are safety tips to keep in mind in case you ever do see one.”
How many of you kiddies find that reassuring?  I didn’t think so!
Read on- “To help prevent an encounter with a cougar:
Hike in groups.
Make noise every so often.
Carry bear pepper spray.”
HEY GROUP!  I’M UP HERE!  WHAT THE HECK’S A BEAR PEPPER?!”
There’s more – “If you see a cougar:
Stay calm.
Back away slowly, but do not run or scream.”
Right,  got it.Dessert- 122413- TagBack
Dee,dee, dee- slowly backing away, not running, calm, slow, CALM SLOW
There’s something rustling in the bushes and it’s not Saint Nick-
Check tag! Check tag!
“If the cougar attacks:
Fight back!”
Really?!
And-” If you encounter a cougar, call Game & Fish Dispatch.”
And what? They’ll come running with an XBox and a trout?!
Aghhhhhhhh walkingslowlybackwardstalkingloudlycalmly!!!

Next Christmas I’ll go a-caroling,and a-wassailing, and a-carrying out Chinese food!

[Desert Droppings] Walter White’s Guacamole

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For those of you who think Texas is bordered by Arizona, you’re wrong!  Between Texas and Arizona lies a big glump of mostly barren, sparsely populated, possibly radioactive land called New Mexico. Albuquerque, affectionately abbreviated to ABQ, is the largest city in the middle of said glump and not very far from areas that might just glow in the dark. (Oh, hi NSA.  No, no. Just silly me rambling on with light-hearted  stuff for a little ole blog post.  Ha ha. You know me, old and light-hearted.  Just kidding.  Really. Ok…I’ll move on.)
Breaking Bad fans, you heard ABQ (That’s Albuquerque, remember?) and immediately thought of the show, right? Let’s talk. DISCLOSURE – I’ve never seen one single episode of Breaking Bad, not one!  You see, I have the Golden Supreme (i.e. cheapest) cable package and AMC is in the Platinum Premium (i.e. squeeze more $ out) package.  Thanks a lot, Direct TV. Yeah, yeah, I know there are probably ways to download/stream hulu or voodoo or yoohoo Breaking Bad episodes, but I don’t have a 12 year old handy to do that stuff.
So, here’s my celebrity-adjacent claim to fame.  I ate the very guacamole that figured prominently in one of the final season’s shows.  Wait, there’s more!  I bought the guac at the very restaurant where the episode was shot and (pant, pant) bought it from the very waitperson who played “second lady at the bar” and said, I quote, “It was awesome!”  Whoooo…red carpet-adjacent.  Oh, and I have the rare eBayable  “obituary” for  Walter White which appeared in the ABQ Journal (not to be even remotely confused with  The New York Times even though they’re both still printed on paper.)
And guess what I have on my kitchen table under a pile of grocery flyers, junk mail, and Halloween candy wrappers?  A genuine ABQ Journal supplement all about Breaking Bad with an honest-to-goodness map of nondescript places around town which are now famous!  Thanks  Breaking Bad.  Stop by and I’ll show you the car wash, strip mall, sleazy motel, and high school which have been forever touched by stardom like movie sites in the Hollywood Hills.

I’m ready for my close-up now.  Guacamole, anyone?